It was so great to have an opportunity to preach this past weekend on “Resolving Conflict and Showing Grace” as a part of our series on The Five Keys to Relationships that Last. There is always information that didn’t make it into the message that I wanted to share, so I thought I would take this opportunity to offer up some practical things to consider when you are seeking to engage in collaborative conflict.
1. Set ground rules. Use respectful dialogue--each person has X minutes to present their issue/feelings where the other person will not talk.
2. Acknowledge the other person's perspective and don't invalidate it by saying, "That's not right or how it is."
3. Brainstorm solutions. Each throw out multiple ideas with no commenting by either on the efficacy of the ideas. Ask for clarification to understand the suggestions.
4. Try a suggestion and be willing to modify or tweak it.
5. Always listen to understand not to interrogate or win!
I hope that this will be an encouragement to engage in conflict in a way that leaves you feeling more deeply connected to those around you. Plan to join us again this week as Pastor Adam is back in the pulpit and shares the importance of play and fun as a part of our relationships.
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