Love (even) your enemies

We learn the concept of friends and enemies very early in life. Young children learn about the good guys and the bad guys. Enemies like Ursula, Jafar, and Darth Vadar have us rooting for evil to be overcome. Moving into adolescence brings enemies who look much more real. The mean girls in school, the football players or the bullies segregate teenagers into the haves and have nots. As our adult brain kicks in, we realize that there are enemies that are much bigger than those in our own lives. Adolph Hitler–the world will never be the same after the tragedies at his hands. Leaders of modern-day armed conflicts in far off places like Yemen and the Tigray region of Ethiopia and Mozambique are very real enemies to the people who are harmed by their hands. Let’s not take this too far across the globe, because sometimes the enemy we face exists in our own house in the form of our addiction, our abuser, depression, anxiety, or our own broken hearts.

If someone has hurt me to the core and I consider them my enemy how on earth do I love them? Jesus knows my frailties and liabilities yet still expects this of me? I’m supposed to love them? Honestly, I want to live in the just world that says an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. That’s a world where my enemies receive justice. However, this kind of justice results very quickly in a toothless, sightless world, said Ghandi.

If we take Jesus seriously when he calls us to love our enemy, what does that look like? Let me offer a huge disclaimer: This is really important. When loving your enemy, you are not ever required to put yourself in harm’s way. Loving your abuser does not mean being in relationship with her or him. Jesus is not calling us to risk harm to ourselves or others. Too many manipulators have used “love your enemies” to bring people back into abusive relationships, and this is not what Jesus is teaching.

Loving our enemies might look like: do no harm. If we can’t offer a loving act, then staying away and shutting our mouth might be the most loving act we can offer.

Bless them. When you think of your enemy, offer a blessing. To bless someone means to ask that God’s good intentions be poured onto a person and is an acknowledgement of your enemy’s humanity. God please bless (insert enemy’s name here even if you have to grit your teeth to get the words out). Speak the blessing out loud. Over time this does not change your enemy into a better person. It changes your heart into a follower of Christ.

Finally, pray for your enemy. Call them by name. Ask God to heal the hurts in their lives that motivate their hurtful actions. Ask God to heal the hurts in our lives that leave us so angry. Ask God to show them mercy. Ask God to show us mercy!

I wish Jesus was kidding when he asked this of us. I wish he had offered an out that said, “Love your enemies, unless they [insert whatever my enemy has done to me].” As much as I read Jesus’ words, I simply don’t find any excuse for not loving my neighbor. I will join you today in keeping my mouth shut, offering a blessing and praying for my enemy.